There's a cat story coming up at
Line's blog (norwegian), so for once I'll try to beat someone to it by being first rather than 3 years too late.
One fine spring morning I arrived at my old residence at
Verftet, which as you can see is more or less sea borne. Punch drunk at five in the morning I headed out on the balcony to have a last Lucky before sleepy-sleepy, barely able to stand right. The balcony is built over the local fjord, but the house foundation rests on an old dock that has large stones as foundation. Going over the evening's flaming success (and correspondingly the after party's crushing defeat), I thought I heard some meowing-like sounds.
Fair enough, there's some old metal pieces in the sea right below, so I thought maybe they were swung about by the current (the tide was rising). But no...the meowing-like sound persisted and I dared a "pussy pussy pussy" statement in the general direction of the next-door apartment. Upon this rather lame thing to say, the frequency and intensity of the sound picked up dramatically, I bent over, looked around and WHAM....I see a grey little kitten trapped on a minute ledge in the dock foundation. And the tide is rising.
Panick-stricken, I called the police. I knew they had a boat and drunkenly informed them about the crisis at hand. My "sister-in-law" (not technically, but..) woke up and joined me on the balcony. She had heard the cries for help and was awfully worried when I pointed at the cat. Police called me back then and said their crew was sleeping and there was no way they would pay for a full rescue operation. The kitten is trapped 50 meters from closest "shore". I'm totally wasted.
For those of you who didn't know: Jumping into the atlantic in spring time when you're drunk is the equivalent of jumping from a Himalayan peak whenever, drunk/sober considerations aside. You will (get cramps and) die. I went into one of the storage rooms and started flipping through my bro's leisure items, trying to find one of his drysuits ("It will keep me warm!") or life-vests ("I may float around, entertained by cramps..but still float). I couldn't find anything, Tonje called my bro, who said "Wear the suit and you'll sink before you can say 'I'm a kitten saving hero'. And no, there's no vest".
He was however kind enough to inform us that his old wind surf board was in the garage and that it would float. So there we are, one
Bærum-girl and one
slacker carrying a 40kg board to the chosen insertion point. Dressed in tees and shorts, I hop onto the board and paddle over to the screaming little creature in the well renown norwegian success-position, telemarks-nedslagstillingen, barely able to balance myself on the board. Boldly, with eyes fixed at least a kilometer beyond the horizon, I navigate over to the new desperate little animal.
With a manly grip around it's chest, I actually managed to paddle myself back all those meters too. Very luckily, the wet little kitten was totally calm, I'm very certain I would fall into the frigging fjord if it had made a jump for it. Paddling over to an overjoyed Tonje, I felt relief. As a geniune hero born in the wrong time, I proudly handed the cat over during a cacophony of happy meows, hopped onto the shore, picked up the board and carried it back to the garage.
I then gave the cat a warm shower, Tonje opened a can of tuna. As if nothing had happened, kitty just started licking up and find a place to sleep. Knowing it was a neighbouring cat, we released it once we realised it didn't want the tuna hence depriving us from the pleasure of seing it eat peacefully.
After this, my facial expression is mostly that of me boldly looking a kilometer beyond the horizon. Unless of course I'm very tired and my eyes basically resemble those of any given fish.